TAXI ADVICE FOR SINGLE WOMEN TRAVELING IN MALAYSIA

Here in Malaysia, getting into a taxi can be dicey. As a single woman, you may be imposed upon with what I affectionately refer to as "The Thousand Questions". They go something like this:

(In rapid succession, like he can't wait to get the next question out of his mouth to continue the interrogation.)
Where are you FROM? What are you DOING here? Why are you staying in MALAYSIA? Where do you LIVE? How much do you pay for RENT? Where is your HUSBAND? Why aren't you WITH your husband? How many children do you have? How much money do THEY give you to live on? How OLD are you? Where do you WORK? How much MONEY do you make?

This is not an exaggeration. Not even slightly. The questions that some taxi drivers have the nerve to ask is embarrassing.

In the past, I tried to deal with it in different ways. I used to be cordial, sociable and have a nice "chat". Until, I discovered that, with a lot (not all) of taxi drivers, it's impossible to get out of the question vice. They will repeat the question until they get an answer. You can ignore the question and sometimes that works, but, they will only come up with another more invasive question, so you really have to have "A PLAN".

Because I have suffered head-aches and proposals, incessant banter and the nine yards, I finally made a decision about how to deal with talkative, inquisitive and gold-digging drivers!

First, I always sit in the back seat, now! That, in itself, has deterred most of the taxi drivers I've encountered lately. I look staunchly out the SIDE window and do not engage. If it looks like the driver may be turning his head to start a chat, I pull out my cellphone fast and pretend to text a message.

So far, I haven't had to pull out my big guns. I'm rather looking forward to it, though. Now that I have a water tight plan, I want to USE it!

Here's what it is:

I'm going to answer the first question with,

"Oooh, so sorry la, but I have a VEERY sore THROAT. Cannot TALK."

And THAT, my dear traveler, is the BEST POSSIBLE ADVICE I CAN GIVE TO A SINGLE WOMAN USING A TAXI IN MALAYSIA!